A Hilarious Story of Black Money Holders!

“PM Narendra Modiji has scrapped Rs.500 and Rs. 1000 notes with immediate effect.” Boy, what a bombshell that was! Did anybody notice that it happened after Diwali and after our Indo-New Zealand Cricket series? Why? Modiji did not want to disturb those card-parties and those who lay bets on cricket matches. But now that the festive season is over, he has got down to business. As he himself said, from one Parv (festival) to another …

So who are the people who are going to really have problems from this measure? Politicians, hoarders, terrorists? Naaaaa … Check this list out :

  • Cash Dowry seekers – Imagine those fat aunties and stern mustache-twirling uncles who make conditions for dowry in cash … Now all the parents can gift cars, jewelry, houses, etc. in their daughters’ names. Record of ‘Stree-dhan’ given will be available with proof. Not one man will try to divorce in the name of less ‘gift’ received – chun-chun ke wapas le lenge ladkiwale…

Bar Dancers and other Tamasha Dancers – Now they will face a real cash crunch the next few days. If they were to get 500 and 1000 Rupee notes, they will be just paper & for new notes, they’d have to wait a bit longer. Of course, lewd, drunk guys could still throw 10 and 100 Rupee notes … Wait, is this why UP Elections are going to be a problem?

The popular ‘nukkad’ Paan-wala, Bhel-wala, Samosa-wala – All these years he/they earned more than all those living on that street, but never felt the need to have a bank account or file an Income Tax Return. Now they’ll have to have a bank account, file a tax return and horror – pay Income Tax too. Ab aaya na Oonth Pahad ke Niche!

Hawkers selling clothes, videos, perfumes etc. on the streets of Mumbai – Business will be down the next few days. But their main worry will be that what will happen if cashless transactions become the norm. Generations of hawkers have never filed an IT return even if they did business running into thousands every day. I am getting goosepimples thinking of these guys doing business with plastic money …

Worse still will be the condition of the Policemen and Municipality officials the above ‘businessmen’ paid the ‘hafta’ to. So can we hope for emptier roads, the next few days, for the convenience of the pedestrians? If wishes were horses …

All the grandchildren whose birthday’s fall in these 50 days will be the worst affected. Don’t forget, they are the next generation of voters & they will never forget this torture heaped on them. BJP should beware of these future young crusaders.

My maid announced as soon as she came to work that her bank account was in the village and that she had no intention of favoring any ‘Memsaab’. My watchman too said the same thing. Even my jeweler said that he had a marriage in his family and was going to shut shop for a few days. What luck I had only Rs. 1000 left in the rice container. God Bless our PM for doing this after Diwali! But I’m still not able to understand why my friend’s husband hid all his bank passbooks from my friend. Can you guess why?

Rati Hegde