Hilarious : Now that “historian” Ramchandra Guha is heading BCCI, what can you expect ?

Taking judicial activism to another level today, Supreme Court appointed former Comptroller and Auditor General Vinod Rai, CEO of IDFC Mr. Vikram Limaye, former women cricket captain Diana Edulji as the head of the BCCI panel. However, one more person was also appointed to head the BCCI panel along with the three. And yes, he is our eminent “historian” Ramachandra Guha. So, who is Ramachandra Guha ? He describes himself as a “lapsed marxist” and a “failed cricketer” on twitter, and is considered an eminent historian. However, he is more famous for glorifying Nehru dynasty in literally everything, and therefore is often trolled on social media. It was his appointment as the BCCI head that left social media in splits.


So, what more can we expect from Ramchandra Guha now that he has taken over as the head of BCCI ? Being a Nehru dynasty sycophant, a Marxist and a cricket historian, the future of Indian cricket seem to be quite interesting. He may soon ban all the ‘right’ handed batsmen and bowlers, calling them untalented. Instead, select the ‘lefties’.

Being a historian and a highly respected historian, the least we can expect from him is some books on the history of cricket. So, how exactly will the books on history of cricket by Ramchandra Guha be ?

  1. Cricket before Gandhi : As an eminent cricket historian, maintaining his loyalty to the Mahatma and the subsequent Nehru-Gandhi dynasty, he can start with the most detailed analysis of cricket before India’s independence. This book will talk about the foundations of cricket in India.
  2. Nehru – The father of modern Indian Cricket : After the foundation of cricket was laid in the period of Mahatma Gandhi, it was finally Jawaharlal Nehru’s visionary policies which heralded the era of modern cricket in era. Be it the manufacture of bats, balls, construction of cricket infrastructure in the country, it was all Nehru’s masterstroke. How the non-aligned movement helped in the rise of Indian cricket and Nehru’s victory in Chinese war boosted the morale of Indian cricketers will be topics of this book.
  3. Indira – The iron lady who gave us World Cup in 83 : Everyone knows India won the World Cup in 1983. But who was the leader that time ? It was the iron lady Indira who marshalled the cricketers with her brave decisions that ultimately led India to the famous victory at Lord’s. Had it not been her charisma, nationalization of cricket, Gareebi hatao from the lives of cricketers, the World Cup victory would have remained a distant dream ! If anyone deserves the credit for 1983 world cup victory, it has to be Indira Gandhi.
  4. Rajiv and the era of Tendulkar : The book will cover the history of cricket in the late 80s and early 90s, which saw the rise of the two superstars – one in the field of cricket and the other in politics. Both were modern, aggressive, and great genius. It was the introduction of Digital revolution in cricket that led to the emergence of new global superstars like Sachin. Had Rajiv Gandhi not revolutionised the technology by inventing technologically advanced bats, 3rd umpire replays, hawk eye, snickometer, we would still have been in the era of 1960s cricket. All hail Rajiv !!
  5. Cricket in the times of Sonia and the 2011 WC : Just like her mother-in-law, the strong brave lady Sonia gave India her second world cup. While she controlled a robot in the government, she had another 11 robots who she had programmed to win the world cup. She ensured that players practised cricket on the large amount of land captured by very handsome and dashing jijaji, and the practise made our men in blue perfect. She also ensured that the players had a huge amount of common-wealth. It was all because of Sonia Gandhi whose proactiveness led to India winning the world cup.
  6. Rise of Rahul and Kohli in the dark ages of Fascism : This final edition of history book by Guha will deal the rise of superstars in the dark times of Fascism and Nazism, when playing cricket was threatened by the Nazi like establishment. It was at this time, players with secular ethos who could fight the state-sponsored atrocities grew in stature. Be it Virat Kohli, Ravichandran Ashwin, Ravindra Jadeja in the field of cricket, or the ultra-talented, witty and most-intelligent Rahul Gandhi, the rise of the stalwarts ensured that Fascism was fought strongly !

(PS – This is a work of satire and fiction. Enjoy it responsibly 😛 Offense to the fans of Nehru-Gandhi dynasty and their sycophants INTENDED)

Kshitij Mohan